Turbulence 

I sit at the bar reading The Ethical Slut

Trying to pretend I’m not broken

Acting like I haven’t spent the night

Spilling my guts to the inside of a paper bag

I woke up just after the sun, with my mind reeling

Learning to identify the way regret feels on the inside of my bones

I’ve got fucked up priorities

This is clear to me, in the way glasses are when they come in from the rain

New year, new me

I wish it was a thing I believed

There are so many things I don’t believe

So many truths I’ve learned were false

Here is a truth I know:

I’ve been too focused on love, not on life

It’s funny because I’m currently mystified, my next step escapes me

I’m just wandering, bleary eyed and wild hearted

This life is moving by me, through me and I’m having a time keeping up, and with it, and present

I’ve begun to weave so many different patterns and I am unsure how they will come together

I have a strong desire to just say, fuck it.

To take something large and hard and durable and smash the shit out of everything around me

I was so optimistic yesterday

We’ll see how I feel tomorrow.

Fairest of them All

I saw Snow White sitting 

On a sidewalk

She was wedged between 

A trash can and a light post

She was drunk

And smoking a

Cigarette

I guess she woke up 

To the lies the dwarves 

Had told her

Got hip to the birds

Whispering in her ear

Found out no prince

Could save her,

Would save her

Snow White learned 

The world

Is deeper than that

Darker than that

I watched

As she pulled on her

Cigarette,

Looked vacantly at

The flame

Raising a bottle

To her lips,

She attempted

To drink away

The pain

As I turned

And walked away

Fairy Tales,

I thought,

Would never

Be the same

Charlie Was a Sinner…

You like that 

I want you

enjoy the way

I tense 

When you press your

breasts against me

It excites you,

I can tell

but 

I’m not here to play

this is not a game

I want with my soul

Not my cunt

You press your breasts

against me

Then 

tell me to run 

Letter to a Would-Be Lover:

I don’t like the way you affect me

the way I let you affect me
You’ve slipped inside me somehow

and I don’t know where you are
So I don’t know how to get you out

but you’re in here
Fucking with me

And I need you to stop.