She was my salve,

Healing.

Bridging a gap…

I dismantled all of my journals

From back then

Sketchbooks too

I ripped out pages,

Tore some, burned some,

Saved some.

I

Stripped them of their

Collective power

Or so I thought

Paper,

I find, has a long memory,

It is not so easily lost

As we might wish,

Paper has power

I was so enthralled

Caught up in her and

Content to stay that way

Lost in a perpetual state of

Heightened torture,

Painful excitement

I was so committed to misery

Committed to wanting and never receiving,

But no, it was more than that,

More than suffering and sadness,

We shared moments of quiet

Moments where the air seemed to sizzle

Words exchanged were charged,

Moving between us,

Creating friction, building energy,

Until we couldn’t take it,

Until it cracked,

Like thunder

After rumbling hungrily in the

Lightening bright sky