There is an ache deep in my bones. It has burrowed itself within the marrow and refuses to let. It has moved from my heart, where it had previously taken up residence. There was too much space there, it felt lonely in the wide rooms and sought the comfort of closeness. Sought to feel the limits of its surroundings. So it found a new home. My heart is still empty though. I had thought, mistakenly, it would seem, that once the ache in my heart had vacated, there would be a flooding in of emotion. Joy, compassion, love, excitement, tenderness. They did not come. My heart remains empty. I feel the echoes. Reverberating off of the walls with each beat.
I’d trade if I could. I’d move the ache in my bones, tiring and heavy, I’d welcome it back into my heart, I’d sit with the pain of it. The discomfort. I’d welcome the sweet agony. At least then, I’d feel…something.