On Acknowledging Truth

I am not as strong as I think I am
I am not as clever as I pretend to be
I use big words and grandiose statements to hide my fear
The world terrifies me
I have gotten nowhere, fast and I am afraid I will stay here
I Fuck up chances like it’s my job
And my childhood tore me down instead of building me up
I am a shell, a fraud, a coward
I never do the things I say I will
I hide from people and the world because they hurt me and attack me and judge me
I am not who I pretend to be
I can’t fake it til I make it
I am tired.
I am not as strong as I think I am.

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