It has been a while since I have written. This is due to various reasons, however, the heart of it is that I have not had the heart for it.
Recently I have been undergoing a serious overhaul of my inner self. I was walking out my days in a blissful haze, letting the heat of the sun dance upon my back, wandering the streets with friends, singing, dancing and howling at the moon. This soul needed it; needed a chance to let out all of the bitterness and hurt that had settled there. This soul needed the opportunity to stir itself and remember why it burns with such passion.
The reason it burns, ekes out fire, as a tree ekes out life, is because this world needs it. Long have I been under the misapprehension that I am limited. I have walked out my days thinking that though I have dreams, they are somehow out of reach. Yes, there are countless people who have been blessed with an idea, a dream and through the courage of their convictions, brought that dream to beauteous life, but I always knew that wasn’t for me.
It wasn’t until I was wandering down the streets of Portland, caught in a heady daze, when I had a startling break through. Patterns in my brain connected which had never before met and I realized that nothing is impossible. I’ll say it again, no thing is impossible. During this moment, I was granted a glimpse through time and sprawled out in front of me was a vision of my life ten years from now, and for the first time since the world told me I couldn’t, I realized I could.
I have something in the works. This thing is big, and it is dreamy and it is so so so important and I can make it happen. I will bring it to fruition. That knowing, that utmost certainty brings tears of an emotion I have yet to name bright to my eyes.
“May you live in interesting times” is said to be a curse. Perhaps it is. The fact is, we do. We live in a time when nothing is certain, and everyday people are hurting, everyday people are suffering and people are craving change. This world cannot survive without a change. It is felt in the air, this change is craved in climate, in behaviors, in culture. We live in interesting times and I have every intention of making them just a bit more interesting.