Pandora. Her box is vast and deep as it is wide. Secrets and demons bubble inside, like hot, molten tar, sputtering and hissing. Latching onto the sides and climbing, desperately seeking freedom. Seeking release from their cage. Single goal, to seek, conquer and destroy all those waiting on the other side. The lid remains shut. Sealed up tight, save for one crack. One tiny little crack which buildup has worn down over the ages. Disaster seeps out. Drop, by devastating drop. Pandora’s box may not ever be opened, but her demons will find release.
It’s a certain kind of darkness I am after. Down in the trenches of the human psyche, there lay a pit. Darkness and desire pool and rise, seeking to take over the chambers of the heart. Seeking to pervert the sweetest and simplest of emotions, and twist them into something more. Something complex, bitter. An emotion which leaves a bad taste on the lips, causes one to smack their tongue upon the roof of the mouth, in a futile attempt to expel the bitterness; the sourness, the truth.
The truth that this is how it feels now. Gone are the sun-drenched emotions of yesterday. The sweet sensations excited by a smile upon a face, or a gust of wind, blowing hair. Simple is gone. Now these moments hold something else. Something deeper, darker. Always when a layer is peeled back, another remains in it’s place. So many meanings, so many secrets. Secrets don’t make friends.
Secrets alienate. Destroy. Damn Pandora and her Box. I didn’t even notice. Breezing past her, with her body shrouded in ebony silks and linens; eyes cloaked in mystery and knowing, she saw me. My gaze caught hers for the briefest of moments and it was then, it must have been then, that the droplet fell upon my skin. Demons seeped into my flesh and began their trek to my soul. Taking over, driving out the lightness of my spirit and replacing it with their wretchedness.
They called it wisdom. I should have known better. I felt it grow inside of me, but did not think to stop it. Could not stop it, even if I had wanted to. I was too far gone. Demons like the shadows. They took nicely to the rooms of my soul, the caverns of my heart. Though light had long-term residence there, the fact remains that with the brightness of the sun, inevitably come shadows. Casting shapes upon walls, dancing and swirling. It was there that the demons began. Finding refuge in the deep spaces, dark spaces. Conspiring with the emotions which had already sought solace from the light.
They had been frightened. Afraid for their survival as the light was determined to drive them from my body. So they fled. They fled and hid until Pandora’s demons arrived, and they were elated. After all, there is strength in numbers. Safety too. With that revelation, all things sad, angry, hurt, woeful, wrathful, vengeful, and otherwise dark and twisted, began their work. Chaos reigned and my spirit was doomed. Heart overrun, it’s caverns swarmed by thousands of demons, spawned from the pool of molten tar which had formed within my soul. Flying up the walls of my heart and perching themselves upon the veins – my heart was blackened.
To squeeze it, one could feel demons moving and squealing in agony as their wings were crushed, and bodies pressed to each others’ backs. To release, one could hear the sighs of relief; see them stretch their wings, and settle back into formation. Undaunted. Resolute once more in their total conquering of that which was formerly known as my self.