I see her separate from the crowd
I know that it is too much for her
She has just lost a piece of her soul
Not some miniscule chip,
But a gaping chunk ripped cruelly from her chest
I hesitate, then walking over to her
I watch her light a cigarette.
Eyes cast down, vacant
Lowering myself beside her
I know I am among the last
People she wants to be near her
This night has been too much
These people have been too much
I want to take away her pain
That is a thing which is impossible
But the desire sits within me nonetheless
I rest my head against her shoulder
Asking softly, ‘what can I do?’
‘Just go home’ she says
I nod, knowing that is not what she wants
That is not what I want
I want to cradle her in my arms
Tell her ‘come sleep with me tonight,
We can put on a movie and you can sob
Until sleep takes you in.’
That is not my job anymore
That is not what she wants from me
That is not what she needs.
So I nod my head and rise from the stoop
I say ‘take care of you, good night.’
Walking away I stare up at the moon
Its’ silvery light casts a glow upon my face
I think of you, I think of how happy you would be
To see the people you love gathered for you
Missing you. I think you’d laugh though
You’d laugh at the people who you barely know
Who have come out and probably don’t even know
Your last name.
I am afraid that I am one of those people
One of those pretenders, because I didn’t know you long
I didn’t get to experience all of the wonderful things you had to offer
I think that, but then I remember the times that we did spend together
I remember the first day we met, I remember the dancing,
The laughing, the singing, I remember you.
I miss you.
So I wander down the street and I channel your presence
And I give thanks to you.
I give thanks for you.
Then, I lower myself into my vehicle,
Start the engine, and drive.